


Sleeping in Lectures Kicks off around Campus vby Aayla Security ( z200122@yahoo.com )

by m_a_archive_owner



Category: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 00:02:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1407553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_a_archive_owner/pseuds/m_a_archive_owner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Note from mods: this story was originally archived at www.masterapprentice.org, which has closed due to code rot. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in March 2014. The m_a list was mailed in December 2013 as well as posted to a number of LJ and Dreamwidth communities about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact us using the e-mail address on collection profile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleeping in Lectures Kicks off around Campus vby Aayla Security ( z200122@yahoo.com )

**Author's Note:**

> I daydreamed during my professors lecture a long time

|  [Master Apprentice](http://www.masterapprentice.org/html/index.html) [Archive](http://www.masterapprentice.org/html/archive.html) Sleeping in Lectures Kicks off around Campus -- Students: Sleeping in Lectures is the Best Solution to Jedis Force Connection Diminishment  |  Quick search:   
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##  Sleeping in Lectures Kicks off around Campus -- Students: Sleeping in Lectures is the Best Solution to Jedis Force Connection Diminishment

###  by Aayla Security ( [z200122@yahoo.com](mailto:z200122@yahoo.com) )

Archive - Freeee...if you ask 

Category - Humor, Parody 

Rating - PG-13 

Warnings - If you strictly stick to official standards, it IS PG-13; but apart from several cussing words, it is actually a PG. Language might be overly familiar or disturbing; unbetaed. 

Spoilers - NONE 

Summary - You know what, Jedi students actually have their own school newspaper. Actually more than one. This particular sample article is taken from a newspaper known as _The Jedi Speak Their Minds_ , which is literally a rebellious newspaper in nature. Its free, and its often left in stack by the entrances of lecture rooms, dormitories, common rooms, quarters, offices, refreshers, gyms, snack bars, cafes, etc. This time it discusses the benefits of sleeping in lectures. Check it out and decide whether you should subscribe to their FREE mailing list or not. 

Feedback - Youve got what I want, and dont pretend that you dont know what it is. This piece of arrangement of words is a lame attempt at humor, again. So Im in dire need of feedback. Thanks, many, MANY thanks in advance. 

Disclaimer - What, George, you wanna sue me? Cmon, look, there is no profit, there is onlywell, good-natured degradation. 

Author's Note: I daydreamed during my professors lecture a long time ago and fantasized my post-final life. So this is the result.

**Many Jedi students and Masters are embracing a technique described as perhaps the most powerful therapy for tension in a decade, taking their cue from a recent scientific discovery showing it can halve the risk of mental impairment because of a very aggressive form of homework-overload.**

Several experts used words like "revolutionary," "stunning" and "jaw-dropping" to describe the findings on the impact of a very special form of relaxation: lecture sleeping. Some even talked of a "cure" for a considerable number of exhausted Jedi students and knights and Masters alike. The effect of sleep-in-lecture appear so potent, some students said, that it raises the possibility that the practice of normal sleeping (i.e. sleep during 11:00 p.m. and 8:00 a.m.) will someday be abandoned when its no longer needed, because lecture sleep alone will suffice a Jedis sleep need. Some even announced that Sleeping-In-Lecture might be the most ideal way to maintain the connection between a Jedi and his most powerful ally -- The Force. 

"The strength of the evidence is so compelling at this point that it would be almost impossible to withhold this technique from the appropriate group of worn-out Jedi," said the Jedi healer Luminara Unduli of Jedi Health Center. She is currently directing a research on Jedi Life Betterment. 

Every saga has a beginning, and this time it begins with Jedi student Youk Slatanes Galactic Galaxy history course. I experienced the wonderful effect of sleeping in lecture one month ago, recalled Slatane of Diplomat Department, I will never forget the fuzzy and warm sensation. You have no idea. The memory is so vivid that its just like yesterday. Ive solved the puzzle: the gender of The Force. This question has been disputed over the high Council but Ive cleared the mist that has mystified the eyes of many Jedi in many generations. This discovery should be recognized as the most important philosophical and scientific event ever since the invention of HoloVision: The Force is a HIM. I know that because I met Him, the real guy. And heres how it happened: I didnt sleep for 3 days so when I walked into the lecture room, I turned on my recording Datapad. Then before I knew it, I began to sleep. Or to be more specific, I fell into the arms of The Force. Thats when I really felt The Forces concrete presence. After all these years of Force-training, The Force finally came to me. You might as well say that The Force was there all the time, but it was till then I finally recognized Him. Oh, by the way, when I woke up, I found myself in my own bed and my roommate said I had slept for 48 hours. 

He was a mess. He was unshaved and smelled, informed a Jedi student who refused to indulge his name, I found him in the backseat of Science Hall 2357, with drools all over the place and tongue out of his mouth. His Padawan braid was loosened, very dirty and wet. It was also glued to his face. I was very unlucky to be there just because there would be an 8:30 class and he was in my favorite spot. So I had to call his Master to pick him up. I wouldve said he was dead but he was breathing -- or rather, snoring, so I knew the fact that he was NOT dead. You know, dead people dont snore. 

However, despite how unappealing the scene might have seemed, Slatane nevertheless appreciated that fateful night and thanked The Force for it. 

I wont take credit for this marvelous [discovery of His gender], because The Force has definitely had His hand in this. He literally guided me to sleep, I think. Sleeping in lectures has incredible benefits. In my case, I came to realize the beauty and light of my life. Before that I thought my life sucked. My connection with The Force has never been stronger, and I really can feel Him all around me. Later that day I did sleep on my own bed for over 4 hours, which was a great deal of normal sleep to me, and it was amazing. I mean, it felt about only half as good as sleeping in lectures. I am looking forward to more sleep in lectures. In conclusion, sleeping in lectures has made me stronger in The Force. I am feeling so good about myself that I feel like the One with The Force. Id love to share my experience with other people to make the Order prosper. 

The therapy may seem attractive, but it does not help everyone, though. For one thing, it is only for the estimated 93.7 percent of students whose time for sleep is less than 5 hours per night and need makeup sleep during day time. Even then, some students relapse. 

Its misplaced, argued Jedi student Obi-Wan Kenobi also from Diplomat Department, They say the most effective way of learning is to be attentive in classes. Sleeping is certainly not being attentive. And even if you tape the lecture, will you really listen carefully to it afterwards? I mean, you were not even willing to listen to it during class time! And a full-length feature lecture is usually 2 to 3 hours, and will you have a chunk of time THAT long? Impossible. And look, your Master has to pay for your post-14-age tuition, right? According to official estimations, each hour of lecture costs your Master 25 Republic Credits. Thats very expensive. Think about it. Sleeping in lectures is too expensive, plus you will probably miss your assignments, tests, finals or worse, in-class jokes. All these adding up will make lecture hours just, too valuable to be given up to sleep. By the way, Kenobi paused, I want to be honest so I will address the fact that I have planned to sleep in Master Shaak Tis next Mind Trick lecture. I must stress that I have no choice because I have an appointment with The Force at 3:00 (the lecture starts at 2:45) in the afternoon, which ranks higher than Mind Trick in my priorities order. If I had an alternative, I wouldnt do that. Well, Im sure Master Ti will understand. Last night when I slept on my essay papers (For what course? Oh, Political Science 201.), The Force (sadly, only His or Her voice dropped by and I cant remember the type of voice) echoed and said He or She would like to speak to me about my future as the Jedi Master of a potential Sith Lord named 3NI+Vd7Vd 370H55V. This is really alarming and frightening. I also dont think Youk was entirely right about The Force. I mean, The Force is so powerful that He or She can virtually be any life form or gender He or She wants to be, right? 

This dude said so because he doesnt have a clue because he has never tried [sleeping in lectures], said Geiniva Sacul, a student of Healing Department, I tried, and it pays off. Sleeping in lectures is priceless and its the best deal I could have made in my life. Youk is right. I did see The Force. I dreamed about Him. I mean, I met Him while I was dreaming. I fell into a dream. Oh, I cant deny that I finally got to meet the finest man in my entire life -- The Force. Hes very cute and sweet. Now I sleep in lectures frequently so that I can meet The Force everyday or every other hour. We are actually dating each other. I dont care how many lovers He might have. I think next time we meet He will give me a kiss, a box of chocolate, or even a brand new speeder. 

However, another important feature of The Force was soon uncovered: The Force has multiple appearances, whether male or female. Therefore, most students have found Kenobis comment on The Force more agreeable. I most appreciate Youks and Geinivas brave attempt to challenge the status quo, said Jedi Student Breneé Stainely of Education Department, But men and women are created equal. Theres no way that the form of The Force should be limited to a man instead of a woman. Probably the vision of The Force of each one of us is different because we, as people, are different. I propose that people reject the idea of mortalizing The Force in terms of gender. People should be allowed to refer to The Force as both She and He -- because, at The Forces will, He or She can be whatever gender, or even both at the same point. 

Most students gave detailed accounts of their encounters with The Force. He has huge, unblinking eyes. He is tall. He has no hair but a gathered tangle of flexible tentacle-tresses extending from His head, described Jedi student Schiny Cokesinger of Healing Department, He said He would love me no matter what and would always be there for me, so I kneeled before Him and said: Good Lord. Evidently, Cokesingers vision is the face of Master Kit Fisto in reality. Other students also reported that their the-Force visions were overwhelmingly similar to famous figures in appearance, such as Master Mace Windu, Master Qui-Gon Jinn, Master Ki-Adi-Mundi, Master Adi Gallia, Master Shaak Ti, Master Yoda, Master Unduli and Master Maro Dooku. Fascinatingly, The Force has shown particular interest in turning into faces that are more familiar to students. 

The Force is really considerate about our feelings, observed Jedi student Vesa Coola of Diplomat Department, He totally fulfills the Jedi code: _Live the moment_. Or equivalently, _keep your concentrations here and now, where it belongs_. I mean, He always relates Himself closely to the contemporary subject. For instance, when I sleep in Master Jinns lecture, He will turn into Master Jinn. When I sleep in Master Windus lecture, He will in turn emerge as Master Windu. Its always the last thing Ive seen before I slip into His realm. The only exception is when I slept in Master Echuu Shen-Jons lecture on Tatooine geography the other day. Guess what, He turned into Jabba the Hutt!! That was absolutely awesome. No one unless super-duper powerful as The Force can do that -- change looks whenever they want! In my opinion this somehow further proves that the guy I am meeting _is_ The Force. You see, a Jedi or whatever else creature has to use mind trick or cloak to hide his true identity, while The Force needs virtually nothing. I said He was considerate because I think He knows familiarity will reduce emotional shock at the visual and spiritual manifestation of The Force, though I have to admit The Forces Hutt form was a bit scary. 

Still, such benefits haven't been seen for some students since thousands of years of experience demonstrated the extraordinary strength, as opposed to the effect of lecture sleeping, of being an active lecture-listener and note-taker. Now its for the student to decide which side to side with to their best interests: The Force or their GPA. 

Many students have chosen the former. Consequently, according to the immediate follow-up lecture-sleep studies published Thursday in _The New Jedi Journal of Better Life_ , many students are taking on the habit of sleeping during lectures, not just simply skipping classes. Some students have noted that The Force in fact invited them to His place fairly frequently during lectures on particular topics, amongst which the most popular ones are Galactic Galaxy History, Mathematical Science, Linguistic Science, Jedi Philosophy, and Meditation. Predictably, not everyone is happy with this result. 

Its disturbing that students always choose to learn the lesson the hard way around, said Jedi Master Ki-Adi-Mundi, who was the lecturer when The Force paid His first visit to Slatane, Like what Ive always said, In the Temple, there is no time, there is only time-management. Students are responsible for attending and really getting into lectures, for their own good. And in terms of their final GPAs, Im not too optimistic. They will pay the ultimate price for their bold and anti-education actions, I assure you. I am quite positive, because I am the one who will give them tests and finals. Not to mention efforts and participation, which will constitute 25 percent of their final grades. 

Other studies reached similar findings in their combined results. Reports came in this afternoon that within a week since the discovery, students who used to get As or Bs on many courses showed a declining quizzes survival ratio that was 32 percentage points lower than before. Except Jedi Philosophy courses, either because students were unlikely to fall asleep with Master Yoda in sight or because the scores were curved, wrote the research conductor, Plo Koon, We have also discovered that such behavior is very dangerous because it is very likely to lead the involving teaching Masters to the Dark Side. 

It saddened me to see the attendant population concentrated in the back row of the lecture room, lamented Math Master Dooku, Those little bastards -- oh, I mean apprentices -- are unbelievable. They have no passion for mathematics. And by unbelievable, I dont mean sleeping alone, because some students are doing their dreamy-talk-and-drool while sleeping when Im offering my precious wisdom. It is distracting and discouraging, and it really hurts. If you have learned psychology, you can imagine how audience reactions can have an enormous impact -- and sometimes an enormously negative impact on the speaker. Now whenever I am giving a lecture, I feel like a deserted object, a tripping stone in [the students] way to their promising future, rather than their respected leader in the pursuit of knowledge. 

On the other hand, some students assert that they are not falling asleep intentionally. 

His deep, smoothing voice reminded me of the elegance of mathematics, the brilliance of civilization and a feather bed, denoted an anonymous Jedi student of Undercover Department, And mind you, prior to my enrollment in his class, I didnt even know what a feather bed was. The idea must have surfaced from a certain quality of his voice. 

Master Dooku resigned from the Order shortly (about 36 hours) after his interview and vanished with his Jedi Starfighter and the unfortunate astromech droid R8-Z5. It is rumored that his last words before departure were HOLY F*CKING HELL I HAD ENGOUGH ILL HAVE MY BLOODY REVENGE ON ALL OF YOU YES ALL OF YOU BITCHES GUESS WHAT IM GONNA BE AN ASS-KICKING SITH THE ENEMY OF THE DAMN ORDER AND F*CK WITH ALL SHITLOAD OF YOU SHITTY FILTHY F*CKING JEDI HA HA HA!!!!! 

Dookus intentions might truly be vile. The most convincing proof is that after his departure, as expected, the transformation of The Force into Dooku has ceased instantly in students daily meetings with The Force. Its clear that he has betrayed The Force, and thats why The Force is so angry and disappointed that He is not turning into him anymore, explained Jedi student Jen Santorum, also of Diplomat Department. 

The Council is adjusting their education policy towards Force-Guidance courses and establishing certain regulations in regard of penalties on sleeping during lectures. Master Mace Windu, who is distinguished in teaching Lightsaber Movements and Meditation, said it's misleading to talk about lecture-sleeping as a cure at this time. 

The Council believes effective sleep may strengthen a Jedis connections with The Force. It will certainly make the Jedi stronger, soberer, and more disciplined. However, sleep should not conflict with normal learning hours. It is an act that reflects poor judgment and a lack of discreet respect to the teachers. (Okay, you are right, I teach Meditation, but so what? No, let me finish.) To a Jedi, being mindful of the Living Force is always better than being confused. But it should also be borne in mind that the return from such form of sleep is not always worth the cost. The Council is looking for new approaches to Force-connection reinforcement. Sleeping in lectures may have eye-opening advantages, but on the flip-side, the timing is also highly questionable. 

It remains unclear whether the quickly-become-the-one-with-the-Force strategy should be adopted during school years or afterward, and whether it can help even years later. At the face of piles of successful cases and positive responses, a majority (about 23 percent) of Jedi students are still doubtful. 

You can sleep in your quarter, advised Jedi student Aayla Secura of Undercover Department, And thats much cheaper, because its free. Oh, no, your Master has to pay for house rents. Its expensive, too. Wait, I am getting this all messed up. Sith. I mean, your Master still has to pay for the rents whether you sleep there or not, but he or she will have to pay extra cash ifOh Darth it. What did I say? Whatever. Anyway, dont sleep during lectures. I mean it. Dont even try it. I hear its addictive. Worse than heroin. I mean, those who find sleeping in lectures beneficial too often happen to be those who dont usually sleep at night. [Youk Slatane], whatever his name is, had slept for 48 hours in a row and of course he couldnt sleep very well that night. I wonder who The Force is, though. Is he going to be on the test or something? Can anyone tell me who he is? Why are you people looking at me like that? 

Authors note: 

Well, there is one thing thats intended to be funny in the passage. But due to my poor writing skills I failed to draw more attention to it, so probably you guys have bypassed it subconsciously. Therefore, I now will give it special attention. Let me put it this way: 

One night, Obi-Wan hand-wrote his essay on political science. However, he was stressed out and grew incredibly frustrated with his assignment. Before long, he decided to take a nap (which was meant to be 20 minutes but he slept for 2 hours). He slept on his paper. In his later encounter with The Force, he heard -- or rather, read the name: 3NI+Vd7Vd 370H55V, and learned that the person would one day become a threat to Galaxy Peace. Keep in mind that actually he read the name somewhere else (say, his hand-written essay draft). Please write that name down on a piece of paper. Now could you please hold the piece of paper and turn it up-side-down? 


End file.
